Ready, Aim, Shoot

I may have mentioned in the past my unusual work bathroom situation.  It is a single bathroom that is shared by men and women.  I know some may argue that women have "grosser" bathroom habits than men, and in some cases this is true, but this particular bathroom situation has been eye opening for me.  I walked into the bathroom the other afternoon to find it first smelling like old coffee since someone thought it was a good idea to empty their morning coffee into the bathroom sink and not rinse it out.  Mind you, there is a kitchen about 20 steps away with a sink that would be much more appropriate to dump your coffee into, but don't worry it gets worse.  I notice a small puddle next to the toilet, hmm what could that be.  Then I notice pee on the toilet seat.  There are multiple issues here, first I guess I don't completely understand, but honestly how hard is it to aim into the toilet?  And if you really have a problem, is it so difficult to lift the seat so that you don't get pee on it?  And again if that is too much for you and then you find yourself peeing on the seat, why is it too much time/effort for you to take a paper towel and wipe it up???  I mean c'mon people we are all adults and I don't think that I should be cleaning up after you. 

Avoiding the Cafeteria and Lunchtime Advances

I know there are many reasons why I should bring my lunch to work.  Its cheaper, for the most part healthier and I'm less likely to over eat.  I have a new reason to make bringing my lunch a better option, it will avoid the possibility of getting picked up at the salad bar.  I debated bringing in some leftovers for lunch this morning (yes I cook, as well as bake and am very flexible, pretty much the total package right here), but then decided against it since I would also be eating said leftovers for dinner tonight.  Around 12:15 I made my way over to the cafeteria, I thought about potentially going someplace else for lunch but since it is raining/ snowing/wintry mixing today I figured staying inside was my best option.  I was checking out the limited options and had pretty much decided on the salad bar (although it's probably the worst salad bar ever) when I realize a guy who is getting some dressing is trying to talk to me.  I've seen this guy many times before and he actually had just "formally" introduced himself to me yesterday by the microwaves (so romantic).  He questioned me on not bringing my lunch, thanks for pointing that out buddy, and then asked me if I would have lunch with him.  I lied and said I really needed to get back to my office since I was having such a busy day, clearly it's so busy that I'm currently typing this blog post at my desk.  He then asked if we could have lunch another time, I replied that I had lunch plans for the reminder of the week.  This statement is almost true as I am booked for Wednesday and Thursday this week.  So then he says well maybe we'll just have to have dinner then instead.  What??  How does me denying your lunch advances make it seem like a good time to ask me out on a date???  I put together my salad and tried to get out of there as quick as I could, not without almost running over this dude on my way to the cashier.  Looks like I'll be avoiding the cafeteria like the plague for a while.

Throw Away Your Shorts

I know that I can be quite opinioated on what is appropriate behavior for guys.  I have a friend who is much more easy-going and optimistic about dating.  I try to take some clues from her and be more open minded and less judgemental when it comes to finding a suitable guy to date.  She had a train wreck of a date and when she told me about it I legitimately started hyperventilating.  Some things can be overlooked or chalked up to nerves, but this was just ridiculous.  Here's how things went down.  First she informed me that he was wearing shorts on this second date, in which she said I told you he wore shorts on the first date as well.  I responded absoltutely not as I would have told you to not go out with him again.  I know I may take some shit on this one but I can back up my argument here.  For all the guys who don't know this, when a girl has a date she spends probably a good portion of the day thinking about what she is going to wear.  There are probably multiple outfit options that she will try on, ask her friends about even potentially take pictures of.  No one expects guys to go through this much trouble picking out an outfit, but I would expect more than picking up a pair of cargo shorts, throwing on a shirt (that you don't tuck in) and a pair of sneakers ( if it were mandels i would have seriously had a heart attack.)  I just think it shows a lack of thoughtfulness.  As a guy, you should know, that a girl is going to pick out an outfit, think about accessories, wear some makeup among other things.  A 35 year old man should know how to put on a pair of jeans (with a belt), pick out a decent shirt to tuck in and a pair of shoes.  I don't think this is a lot to ask.  I know that it is the summer time and it's hot out but we all make sacrifices.  Sometimes I have to wear a belt with a dress when it would be much more comfortable to not wear a belt, but such is life.  So back to the date, Like I said I would not have given this person date #2 but said friend is nicer than myself so she said what the hell I'll give him a chance.  Homeboy asks her out immediately again and picks a place.  Pretty much right away she finds out that this is a place that he used to frequent with his very recent ex-girlfriend.  He also proceeds to talk about the ex for a good portion of the date.  I understand that break-ups are hard and especially fresh out of a breakup you are still thinking about that person and potentially comparing your new date to your ex but keep it to yourself!  There are more reasons why this date went bad but I dont even have the energy to go into it, and wasn't this bad enough? My point is simple, don't wear shorts on a date, put on a pair of pants and iron a shirt, please and thanks. 

How are you still single??

Let me give you a little tip dudes, please don't ever say this to me.  Honestly, do you really want to know the answer to that question?  Like am I supposed to say because I'm a crazy bitch who has commitment issues or if I don't like where you live or what kind of shoes you are wearing I will kick you to the curb faster than  you can ask me for my digits?  I understand that perhaps this is meant as a compliment, but guess what, if you want to give me a compliment say something real.  We are both adults (I guess since I'm 32 I should own up to being an adult even if I don't always act as one), so just say what you mean.  If you want to tell me I'm pretty, great say it, I can take a compliment.*   If you want me to add you to the list of guys who live in Southie and wear mandals then go ahead and ask me that dumb question. 

*I actually quite enjoy compliments so feel free to leave some in the comments section. 

My Thrill in Life is....

Breakfast Burritos!! Yes I'm being serious. Does that make me sound like a loser? You know what I don't really care because breakfast burritos are just about the best thing to ever happen to me. I mean I'm a fan of most burritos in general but there is just something about the breakfast kind that I just really love. Today I decided to take a nice little walk to work since we are actually having spring (ok it's actually more like summer) right now in Boston which is pretty much unprecedented. On my normal route I pass by an Anna's taqueria. I may have noticed the other day that they are now currently serving breakfast burritos at this location. I have sampled the illusive Anna's breakfast burrito once before, back when they only offered them at the MIT location. That first time I had one it was all I could have asked for and more, and let me tell you this time it did not disappoint either. The only strange part was that the guy who was making my burrito guessed my name correctly from seeing my "A" necklace, weird!! But I let it slide since the brekki burrito was top notch. This may have to become a new walking to work Friday tradition :)

Current Things That Piss Me Off

It's about that time to take a look at all the things that make me want to punch someone in the face:

1) Sometime in the last week the toilet paper at work has changed from adequate to a fine grit sandpaper. How about you take back my pathetic recent merit increase and use that money toward appropriate softness TP?
2) The disregarding of deadlines at work, why should I be busting my butt to get things done on time if no one else is?
3) Random text messages. If you don't have anything important to say to me, don't send me a text!
4) Spring Allergies- this one is self explanatory especially if you are dealing with this as well
5) Don't ask me for my phone number if you are not planning to call.
6) Bitches giving me the stink eye, settle down I'm not trying to steal your man.
7) Having to wait for a table even when you have a reservation.
8) People dressed inappropriately for the weather- I know it was "warmer" yesterday but it wasn't summer clothes weather.
9) Don't skip my songs on the jukebox-I'll be super pissed and I'll let everyone know it, I want to hear my Usher!
10) I know I look younger than I am, please don't argue with me about it. If I say I'm 31 it's because I am actually 31.

Do You Like Me? Confirm or Deny

When you are a busy lady such as myself, you don't have time for the games and general BS of dating. Although some people may find dating fun and interesting I simply put find it as a means to an end. First dates are one of my least favorite activities. I mean honestly, here is how they can go down.

If it's a set-up (worst first date experience ever) you may not even know what the person looks like (ok who are we kidding you obviously already sufficiently stalked them all over the internets), but worse off is you probably don't know much about them except for the fact that they are single too. Generally I avoid the set up for that reason since for the most part it is one of your loved up couple friends who wants you to meet a single friend and the only reason they want you to get together is because you are both single. Sorry dudes, I'm picky and you being single is not going to make me swoon.

Ok next scenario, say you met this dude at a bar last Friday night. What are they chances that you accurately remember what he looks like? Probably depends on how many scorpion bowls you sucked down before you made out with him in the corner. At the time you obviously liked him enough to give him your digits and he probably texted you (hell would have froze over if he called so we know that didn't happen) and you had nothing better going on so you agreed to meet. You will probably know within 10 seconds of seeing this dude at the restaurant/dive bar that you met up with him at if you like him , i.e. instead of the tall, dark and handsome guy you remember he is actually short, fat and balding.

Then you have say the guy that you know, you know the one that texts you and emails you, maybe he even called you on the phone (GASP!) once or twice. You've certainly flirted, maybe even had an MO sesh or two but you are not really sure if it is going anywhere. This is where I propose to stop the bullshit and just get down to business. It's kind of like the middle school note with the check boxes except for the 21st century you'll send it in a text message.

So the next time that I may actually like someone, watch out boys cuz I'm coming at you with total honesty and I want the same in return. Do you like me too? Please advise asap!